Tuesday, March 25, 2008

BLOG HASH: Baby's New Clothes...

I will begin moving over all my old blog posts from my other blog sites that people found amusing or entertaining. Maybe you missed one? I will start with the most recent ones and work backwards. You'll know it's an old blog- I will put BLOG HASH in the title, as well as the original post date in the body. Hope you enjoy!

ORIGINAL POST DATE- Wednesday March 5, 2008

Now that I've become a guru on baby clothes (ok slight embellishment), I feel it safe to comment on the industry as a whole, with a few itemized problems i have.

1. 3-6 MO. my ASS!
How come, when you buy something that says 3-6 months, sometimes it's made for a premature underfed Ethiopian baby, and other times it's sized for a overeating sumo-wrestler's kid? Yes, like "regular size" people, I know baby's come in all shapes and sizes. well, why not go to a measurement system like adult clothes? like, instead of "3-6 months", make it for "24 inches & up to 15 lbs"..etc. Does the baby-clothes-making-world need me to buy them a tape measure??

2. NOOOO!!! BUTTONS!!!!!! ARRRGH!!!!
I absolutely LOVE snaps, zippers, hell even have a few outfits with nothing but Velcro. but, for the love of all things holy, what the HELL is with the micro-buttons? I have freckles bigger than some of these things, and my giant-like fingers aren't nimble enough to manipulate them to get them open when I'm trying to put the outfit over my kid's head- not to MENTION to get them back closed when the outfit is on a child who wriggles more than the floor of Indiana Jone's Temple.

3. Front....or back????
I never read in the child-instruction-manual about the directional flip-flopping of baby clothes. Sometimes the zipper is in the front. sometimes it's in the back. Hell, i thought i did good and she looked pretty with her button-down (snaps!) dress and big bow on her butt...until my wife pointed out that that happened to be one of the ones that snapped..IN BACK. Ok, Ok..i now know to look for a tag or something printed in the clothes. but why do i have to go on a scavenger hunt for the tag every time i want to dress a baby?

4. "Built-In" panties- with NO flap!
Some of these outfits have cute little built-in bloomers under the dress. while darling and all, this does nothing to ease my anger at having to remove the ENTIRE outfit to change a diaper....and most of these, of course...have micro buttons!!

5. Whys i gotta match?
Daddy's dressing you now, honey. Yes I know baby outfits usually come all matchy in their colors and patterns. Well, if they're not together, i figure it's mix-or-match, right? apparently, according to my wife, that's wrong also. I SOO need baby- grranimals just so _I_ can dress her.

6. Where's your sock??
No matter how tight you roll the tops, or fold them down, or stretch them over her chubby cankles....a sock always comes off 5 minutes later without fail. where are the baby-garters that clip to her diaper?? I offered to use the staple-gun, but my wife ALSO didn't think that was a good idea.

7. New outfit- for me to puke on!
Murphy's law. Get her dressed and ready to look cute for an outing with grandma and grandpa- and 2 minutes before we get there is when she'll spit up, every time. But put her in ratty, ugly sleeper that has stains, and shes fine all day. Do they do it on purpose??? i think they DO...I'm WATCHING her....

That's all i can think of to rant about baby clothes right now...any other parents agree or have other issues?

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